Madame Swish Is Born...Cesarean Section

Disclaimer: Please note that the names and identities of individuals in this story have been changed to protect the rich and famous.

Once upon a blog…there was a young girl named Girl who lived in her house with her 2 Brothers and 2 Sisters.
With 5 sprogs, Mother was and had to be frugal. Mother wasted NOTHING. Glass jars from Jam and other produce were reused as storage; Girl thought Hand-Me-Downs was a designer label, paper was always used on both sides (loo-roll included)… let’s stop there, you get the point.

Years later Girl grew up to live in her own house. It was the very first time Girl had, had her very own bedroom… ever. After years of being in other people’s clothes and feeling like she was in other people spaces. You see, Elder Sister (Es) resented Girl’s birth and being ignored each time she screamed for Girl to: “Die, die, die”. Girl went a bit wild in her new abode buying anything she wanted until Wallet stopped whopping Yeehaa each time Girl made a purchase.

Now Girl and Wallet were no longer on speaking terms Girl knew she had to get a grip on her spending. Thankfully Girl didn’t have to look far for inspiration, not only was Mother an eco-warrior she was also a Magpie. Mother Magpie could smell a bargain from outside the shop. Mother had a way of scanning a barrel or box full of reduced items to find a gem so quickly, it put Bionic Woman to shame (and we are not talking the blush lightly kind baby, we are talking the kind that could make Bionic Woman consider steroids.)

Soon after Girl's epiphany, her good friend, The Woman Who Lived On A Boat (Twwloab) decided to have a clothes swap party. Now Twwloab’s party was delightful and very grown up. There was lots of red wine and laugh-chat. Clothes were passed around the room with frequent calls of, “Size x over here” and “Who wants this?”

Girl’s favourite colour shoes in the world are red (yes… Girl often sings “Follow the yellow brick road” in the privacy of her own home…own room yaaaay). When a pair of size 7 red heels rose from the abyss of clothes and became glued to her hands she realised there was no other way to live.

And so it began…Madame Swish was born.